


You're My Angel

by NotJasonTodd



Category: Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 18:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17330192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotJasonTodd/pseuds/NotJasonTodd
Summary: Dick Grayson was kidnapped by the Joker and tortured and Babs was the one to come and save him. She has to get him back into the world of the living, but while saving him, will he fall in love with his angel? And will she return the feeling?





	1. Chapter 1

It was white hot, which was really the only way to describe it. It was like touching the corner of the stove and not realizing that it was on when you were a child. You know that feeling that is more of a searing heat? It was like that.

Now the pain in my head was worse. I could judge that it was a concussion. It was a dull but steady throb, matching the beat of my heart in my chest. Honestly, I could tell that I still had a way to go before it would be over. Torture was a game, a power play.

Pain, in Bruce's mind, was a state of being. If you really wanted to get rid of it, you could think yourself out of pain, since essentially, it was a sense. It was like a smell. You don't know that you are smelling things all day long, but you are. But once you smell something intense or recognizable, you notice the sense more. He believed that if you never thought about it, the pain would go away.

I never really latched onto his idea, it seemed like you would have to spend a lot of time to think pain away. But in those moments, I did. I made myself shut everything off. I focused on the air being sucked into my lungs. I made myself focus on the steady, but slowing, pulse that I heard in my ears. Somehow, the pain subsided.

In all of that I made him mad. I guess the point of his little charade was to prove that he was powerful, beating me with a crowbar, like how he did Jason. It was emotionally crippling, but unusual. It was not his style.

"What's wrong bird boy?" He chuckled cracking it over my ribcage. I tuned it out. I breathed in and out, labored. It was getting harder. I tried not to think of the shards of bones that I knew were now embedded in my lungs. "Are you giving up?"

I said nothing as he swung again, hitting my collarbone. Anyone who has had a broken collarbone will tell you, breaking that bone is the worst. It takes forever to heal and the doctors can do nothing except give you a sling and some low dose pain-killers. I would need something heavy if I lived from this.

"You know," He began again, "Even the last Robin was mouthier than this. Weren't you loud too as Robin? Maybe I finally shut you all up." He let out another laugh and smacked me in the ribs again, sending the chair and me sailing. I landed face down, with my forehead bashed into the concrete. Opening my eyes, I could see blood pooling beneath my face. I coughed and spit up some as well. It ran on the floor and around my face and hair.

I let out a moan, which was probably the worst instinct to do. First, it let him know that I was capable of speech and was just being stubborn. And it took my focus off of the breathing. I let the pain escape me and it was like opening the floodgates. I gasped a few times before managing to get my breathing under control again. All the while he walked over and yanked up the chair so I was eye level but still hovering above the ground.

"Ah, so the Golden Boy lives." His face twisted into a smile and my focus went out the window. I hated him. I hated every inch of him, not for the pain he caused me, but for Jason. He killed my brother in a room like this. He took him from me. He was a child and he died alone. I wanted every inch of me to throttle him there on the floor, but my hands were still tied down. And if they weren't, half the bones in my body were still broken.

"You are nothing, Joker." I muttered, boarding holes into him with my eyes. My voice rasped, blood dribbling down the corner of my mouth. "You are useless. You try and you try to prove to Batman that you are an ordinary man who turned after one bad day? You try to prove that anyone can be a psychopath if their world is turned upside down? Well it doesn't work and you know it…You are losing it, and losing hope. You are nothing and you will always be nothing. Plus you lost your edge, this isn't you. This isn't even funny."

In hindsight, edging on the man who was ending my life was probably not the best idea. I saw his smile drop, which was a strange thing. He became a monster, filled with rage. He wielded the crowbar over and over again to the point where I didn't need to focus on my breathing, I couldn't feel anything anyway. I heard the bones in my face break and my eyes swelled. The world filled with darkness as I drifted in and out of consciousness.

I was ready to die. I had given up. I had screwed up. The team was on a covert mission and I was here, dying. Artemis and Kaldur were undercover for nothing. They were on a lost-cause mission and they knew it. Wally knew it. I was dying alone, just like Jason. And I was okay with it.

Drifting in and out was okay because I didn't feel much. I knew I was awake because I felt nudges, that's all they were now, of the crowbar. They weren't as angry now, not fuelled by rage, fuelled by boredom. It was distant, the nudges. It was like a kicking, and there was no pain. It was nice, dying without the pain. It was slow, but it was soft, relaxing. I hadn't had anything remotely relaxing in a long time.

I heard a slight scuffle, in the back of my mind. It could have been a dream, but it seemed so real. I felt myself being untied and a light, feathery touch, so unlike the nudge of the crowbar against my stomach. I didn't want to open my eyes against the harsh light but I knew I had to try.

Half dead, the only thing I could describe it was as an angel had come to take me.


	2. Chapter 2

The only I saw was a white light. I have no idea what it was. It could have been the sunlight, or Heaven. I was gone. The white light hovered above me after the angel's silhouette disappeared. She had seemed to hover above me, warm and bright. I was out, I had no idea for how long.

I never really woke with a start. It was more of like a shallow resurfacing. I became awake of my surroundings first. I felt a dull throbbing in my head and I could smell rock. It didn't seem like Heaven.

"He's still back in the warehouse, I just got Dick." I heard a female voice say. It was far away, almost murky. "He is really banged up Bruce."

"He has three broken ribs, a broken collarbone, and a concussion. One of the rib fragments punctured his lung, but it is not a severe as it sounds. You found him just in time Babs." I heard a male voice said.

"When is he going to wake up?" She spoke again. She seemed scared, he voice was cracking. "He didn't even recognize me when I carried him home. He looked so hurt…"

"I know he did. But he will be okay, I promise." The man was stronger, more in control. "You should go upstairs and get some sleep. He won't be awake for a while. Alfred is going to give him some more sedatives, he needs to heal."

I really couldn't recognize their voices through the depth. Everything was still murky. I knew they were talking about me though. My brain was sluggish, having a hard time supplying me with the information I needed. It wasn't my parents; they had died…a long time ago. We were in a circus as the Flying Graysons. I was…adopted...by Batman. No, not Batman, Bruce. Okay, so it was Bruce, who was he talking to?

"I'm not leaving him." I heard the woman say. Babs, he had called her. I heard the patter of footsteps beside me and the warmth of a hand on my cheek.

She wasn't my girlfriend…no, just a friend. Babs…Barbra. Barbra Gordon. It was Batgirl.

I heard her breathe a sigh and took the hand from my cheek, leaving cold goose bumps in it's shadow.

The next time I awoke, it had much more fortunate results. I blinked my eyes against the white light. A figure came over and looked down at me, red hair cascading down from one side of the tilted head like a waterfall. It was the angel. No, no it wasn't it wasn't an angel, it was Babs.

"Dick? Are you awake?" She seemed relieved, smiling. She honestly looked like an angel, especially standing over me.

"Babs…" I muttered against the soreness of my face.

"You have been in and out for three days." She rested her hand on my cheek and I blinked again.

"Ahh." I said, holding my arms in to my throbbing chest, "Help me up?"

She put and arm around my back and gently pulled me into a sitting position. I moaned and shut my eyes when she let me go.

"I'm so sorry Dick." Her hands fluttered helplessly over me, attempting to help.

"It's okay." I grunted. "How many ribs?"

"Three. Bruce says you are benched for a four weeks at the least." She smiled. "I tried to plead your case."

"Thanks Babs" I laughed and regretted it immediately. "He can't bench me, I'm an adult."

"Then go upstairs and tell him that." She smiled at me, cocking her head to the side.

I shook my head and looked around the cave. I was on a bed in my Nightwing costume. Although it had some brand new holes that I didn't remember putting in it. There was a cot resting beside the bed with a pile of clothing on it.

I took a good look at Babs. She may have looked like an angel at first, but my god, she looked terrible. Her hair was greasy and there were deep circles under each of her eyes.

"Babs have you been here this whole time?" She ran a hand through her hair and avoided looking me in the eye.

"I found you, so I took some responsibility for you." She out on a good show, but I knew she needed rest. She needed to care about herself instead of me. "Besides, someone had to be here when you woke up."

"Jeez Babs." I said, looking up at her. "Thank you…really. You didn't need to do this, you already saved my life."

"It's nothing Dick." She said softly. "I intend to stay by your side and help you out until you recover."

"Oh Babs you don't need to…" I said shaking my head.

"Come on, is he going to watch you?" She jabbed her finger up to the staircase leading to the manor. "What if you keel over?"

"I'm not going to keel over." I laughed at her antiquated term, then grabbed my chest.

"See?" She said, jumping to my side. "Already keeling over! No butts. You are staying with me, besides I'll be out with the team most of the day. You can phone me."

"Fine, but you have to do something for me first." I looked back up, giving her a sly smile.

"What?" She planted her hands on her hips, defiant.

"Go upstairs and take a shower and an hour and a half nap. We will leave after." She pressed her lips together in a hard line before curtly nodding and walking away. It was a fight she would never win. I was just about as stubborn as she was. "And get Alfred to bring me a sandwich or something!" I hollered back against the assault on my poor ribs.

I heard her laughter echo off the cave walls before she walked out.


	3. Chapter 3

Living with Babs was not as bad as I expected it to be, really. I assumed she meant setting me up with a room at the commissioners house, setting me up to all sorts of questions about my injuries. But no, Babs was an adult and had gotten her own apartment on the north side overlooking the bay. It was a sweet place really, no one really lived there. It was too far from everything, most people said, Babs didn't mind. I got the impression she liked her peace and quiet.

Honestly, I was convinced she was an invert when she walked me inside. There were books everywhere, stacked in piles and littered around the floor.

"Woa Babs." I said, as she sat me down on the couch. "What is with all the literature?"

"I work at the college library. They gave me a few things that were too old to be kept around." She walked to the kitchen, rummaging around in cabinets. "Tea?"

"Sure." I picked up the nearest book on the couch next to me. "The Count of Monte Cristo, this is like twelve hundred pages!"

"You'd like it." She smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear while filling the kettle with water from the tap. "He gets wrongly imprisoned and then when he gets out, he finds this chateau with millions of dollars on it. Then he sets out to get the people who did him wrong in the first place."

"Sounds enthralling." I muttered, setting it back on the couch. "The Anthology of Eastern African Poetry?"

"Ah, it's for research." She set the kettle down at bent down to turn on the stove.

"When do you even have time to read all of this?" I set it back down and veered my head to the left so I could read the spines of the ones stacked on the coffee table.

"I'm sorry, do you not read books?" She questioned, her defensive voice muffled by the burner on the stove.

"In school." I said.

"Are you kidding me? You are one of those people?" She walked over to me, hands on her hips; apparently I stuck a nerve by being one of those people, whatever that meant. "The, I-only-read-when-the-teacher-tells-me-to?"

"No, not like that, I just don't have the time." I let my eyes wander around the stacks cluttering around the floor.

"Well since you are bedridden for the foreseeable future…" Her voice drifted off, her eyes darting around the room. "Oh!"

She took off, literally ran to the bedroom.

"Here." She walked back and handed me a green book with a strange writing on the cover. "My dad made me read this when I was a kid. I couldn't put it down."

"Babs…I'm not much of a reader." Immediately I could smell the book when I opened it. It was old, very old. It smelled like sweet trees mixed with dust, a strange thing to smell. But somehow it was nice, inviting.

"It's the Hobbit." I gave her a quizzical glance, I'd never seen the movie, or any of the Lord of the Rings movies for that matter. I didn't even know they had been books. "Give it twenty pages, if you don't like it, put it down. I won't be offended."

She got up as the kettle started whistling and I looked it over again. It did look interesting. It looked long, like four hundred something. The print was big and each page was bordered by the strange green script. I had nothing better to do except sneak out, and even then, I wouldn't be much use this beaten up.

She sat down next to me, setting a steaming cup up in front of me. She took a sip from hers on her lap.

"Hey Babs." I looked up from the book to her. Her hair was piled up on the top of her head, her eyes still red. I doubted whether she actually got that shower in. She looked into my eyes. "I just wanted to say thanks, for saving me and letting me stay here. It is really kind."

"I needed to." She said looking down. "I know we don't know each other as well as we should. But, when I saw you all broken and half dead on the floor, God, it almost killed me. You looked so small and defeated."

"Not my most masculine moment I'm sure." I smiled and she let out a small laugh.

"It doesn't matter. We are not really in an industry to be saving the damsel in distress. We have to save the crumbling society." She picked her head back up, a light shining through her eyes.

"Still, it's nice to be saved every once and a while." I said smiling at her. "I'm glad you were there for me Babs."

"I got to save the Prince Charming. Funny." She smiled, looking of into the distance. I made no move to reply to that comment.

After a few moments she rested her head on my shoulder until she fell asleep. I stayed like that, for a few minutes until I felt a bit awkward. I couldn't move for fear of waking her up. After a few more minutes her head fell in my lap and her legs curled on the couch next to me subconsciously.

I knocked out after a little and we ended up staying like that for a few hours.


	4. Chapter 4

Being at Bab's was boring, I had no choice but to read. I finished the Hobbit in three days and ended up just sitting on the floor, staring at the door waiting for her to come home. She kept to the 'no capes' rule and threw the Great Gatsby at me as reparation. I leafed through it in two days.

Honestly, it was pretty fun. I'd never gotten lost in anything before. I felt a sense of escapism, being able to forget everything around me and become someone else if just for a few minutes. It was so different, so real. I forgot who I was, and everything that lay on my shoulders when I was cooped up in her apartment.

By the end of the week, I was watching the soaps half the time and the other time struggling through Crime and Punishment. She hadn't even suggested it. I had wandered into her room and found it in one of the stacks resting against the walls. It was a good read.

Babs laughed at me when she came home that night.

"I need out Babs," I looked up from the television, Desperate Housewives was on. "Look what you are doing to me."

"Ah, come on." She set take-out in the microwave, slamming the small door shut. "It's not that boring."

"I am going to murder you." I muttered burying my face in a pillow in front of me. My ribs still ached, but I wouldn't let her know that. I was barely getting my masculinity back with her, I didn't want to look like a weakling again. Which was weird, I'd never really been concerned with how Babs saw me before.

"Well it's almost sunset." She opened the drapes looking out at the setting sun. "Patrol?"

"Please." I begged her with my eyes, while half launching myself of the brown upholstery. I ignored the pain in my ribs. I'd had worse.

"I am not going to carry you back to the manor again!" She warned. That was her way of telling me to watch my back, not that I wouldn't be extra careful the first day out. "Bruce is already going to be mad if he hears I let you go off after just a week!"

I ran to her messy room, digging through my duffel bag with my clothes in it. She had swung by my place in Bludhaven a few days ago and grabbed me a few things. I ran a hand through my messy black hair and stuck my domino on, covering my eyes. It felt good to be back.

She had grabbed my spare costume, since the last one had gotten pretty torn up. I slipped it on and stretched for the first time in a week. It felt good, the feeling of muscle over bone, stretching and contracting. It was all sensations that I was used to.

"Don't you look all spiffy." She said, hunched over a cup of tea as I walked out. I beamed and she grinned back to me before getting up and pulling her cowl back on from behind her head, cape trailing behind her. "Let's go."

She opened the patio door and made no sound, lifting herself up the doorframe and onto the roof of the building. I walked out and shut the door behind me. Looking up, I saw her silhouette in the moonlight.

She was sturdy, built. She was tall and stocky. But at the same time, she was elegant, casting radiance around her that I never had noticed before. Her hair flew in the wind of the night and she closed her eyes, relishing in the freedom of the darkness. I longed to hold her.

Maybe it was all the sappy reality television I'd been watching. But something hit me when I looked at her in the cover of the dark. Something moved in me, like a fire beginning to spark. It was a strange emotion, not one I could explain if I tried.

I picked myself up on the doorframe and jumped to the roof beside her. She didn't even turn her head to me. I could see a faint smile stretch across her thin lips. She lifted her arms up and let out a jovial laugh, then opened her eyes. Turning to look at me, she took my hand and walked me to the edge of the rooftop.

"Don't you feel alive?" She asked, looking at me with cobalt flecks. I nodded, refusing to break the spell by speaking.

She turned her head from me and looked out over the rooftops of the city. It was a dark city, but nights like this made it beautiful. Underneath all the grime and dirt, it was my home and there were still a few good souls living there.

"Sometimes I wish we didn't have to do this." She said, looking back to me. "Sometimes I wish I lived a normal life, with normal friends and a normal job."

"I never had that option." I said, taking my gaze from her. "I was as much a part of it as Bruce was."

"I forget sometimes." She said after a pause. "I'm sorry, Dick. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, I know what you mean." I looked back down to her, "Sometimes I wish that too. I wonder what things would have been like, had they not died."

She let the silence cover us and rested her head on my shoulder. We looked over the city again. It was so cold, so desolate sometimes in this life. We never had much company.

"You'd have some big fancy job and some beautiful girlfriend." She giggled. I pictured sitting at some big office in a skyscraper with Babs giggling on my desk. No, I'd have her.

"I'd never have met you." I said, smiling. Did that make it all worth it? I didn't know. She sighed, head moving slightly from my shoulder so she could look up at me.

"No you never would have." She paused. "I'd rather have you."

"What?" I jolted, looking down at her surprised face.

"I'd rather have you, instead of living without all this." She motioned to our costumes. "This life is worth it."

"You wouldn't give up this life…because of me?" I cocked my eyebrow up. "Why?"

"I like you Dick." She smiled again. "The world seems to shift pace when you're around. You're funny and smart and you always know what to say. You have been there for me and I like being there for you. That's more genuine then anything I could find out there."

"Oh Babs." I smiled down to her and she blushed. I'd never seen her blush. She was always such a strong woman, never taking her guard down or letting go. I felt special, being the one to make her want this life.

In a second before I knew it, she was leaning up and I was leaning down and she kissed me. I didn't pull away and she didn't either. Her lips were warm and sweet, just like I'd thought they'd be. Her hand drifted up and rested on my neck, just holding my in place. Instinctively, I wrapped my arm around her waist, bringing her closer as well.

I could feel the fire build inside of me as we kissed on the rooftop that night. It burned like a little light under shadow of the stars. It told me that I wouldn't let her go. I would watch her and make sure that nothing happened to her because that was what I owed her. And because that was what I needed to do to make sure that she stayed safe, with me.

I felt her smile and she let out a giggle as I pulled away. I pressed my forehead to hers and our breath mingled together. I laughed as well before she gave me a quick peck and disappeared into the night, expecting me to catch up.


	5. Chapter 5

I didn't know where we stood after that. We patrolled the city, watching for any sign of distress. So far, Gotham was quiet. My heart was still thumping like a jackhammer when we returned back to her apartment.

"Well that was uneventful." She muttered, pulling her cowl down and shaking out her red hair.

"That can only be good right?" I shut the patio door behind her as the sun rose and for the first time in a week, I felt tired, well-worked.

"I hope." She said, taking out the take out from the night before. She pulled out two paper plates and dolled two slices of thick-crusted pizza on each. She set one in the microwave and left the other on the counter.

"So…" I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. I was grateful she couldn't see through my domino. She handed me the hot plate when the microwave dinged and then put hers in.

"So what was that?" she said finally, setting her back on the counter and folding her arms.

"I don't know Babs. I really like you." I said awkwardly. I never had this happen; I was usually so suave with these kinds of things.

"Dick…" She looked at me, pressing her lips together. "We can't be together."

"What?" My eyes widened, not expecting that at all.

"You know what I mean," She paused, pulling her food out of the microwave. I subconsciously took a bite. "In this line of work…it's difficult to keep someone you care about close. Just look at Wally."

That stung to the heart of me. I would never be able to open up to her about the secrets I'd been keeping. It was too risky, it would get her hurt. She was right, maybe we wouldn't be able to be together. Just looking at her, she seemed at sparkle even when she didn't try, I needed her.

"Babs…You have been there for me for so long. But now, all of these feelings are coming up. Please just tell me that I'm not crazy." I looked up, my heart dropping into my stomach.

She paused. "You're not crazy. I've noticed it too. I love coming home and finding you here, it's been like heaven."

I smiled as she tucked a rebellious curl behind her ear. She took a bite of the pizza in front of her and chewed it while thinking.

"But Dick," She swallowed at looked back at me before I could say anything. "You were trained by Bruce, I know what that means. You will dedicate your life to helping this city. You will literally give your dying breath to save it. And please, don't make that something I have to watch."

Her sincerity cut through me and I wished that there was some way I could prove her wrong. I wished that we could just be two normal people and none of this responsibility lay on our shoulders. We didn't need the fate of Gotham.

"I'm sorry Babs." I said, pushing my head down. She walked over to me and pulled my head up from across the counter.

"Dick, don't be. I love you for it." I saw doubt cross her eyes for a second. Did she really love me?

"But you can't be with me." I said bringing my hand up to hers. A jolt of electricity shot through our skin when it touched, maybe it was just me.

"I just can't live a life not knowing if you will be alive in the morning." She said, cocking her eyes to the side. They shone through me, that electrifying blue cobalt. They were beautiful, even if they cut to the core.

I stood up and crossed the counter, still holding her hand. She looked up at me and I smiled. It shot needles through me. She put her hand on my neck and pulled me down, kissing her.

I've been with women before, don't get me wrong. And there have been plenty of times when I thought that I was in love. But never have I had the spark. You know that one they talk about in the movies where you see fireworks? I'd never had that. Well, Babs gave me that spark. I felt like my whole body was alive and on fire when I was with her. When we kissed, the fire spread. It was as if every nerve was alive and being licked over by hot flames. I could tell she felt it too.

Her body responded to mine. Her mouth opened and invited me inside, while she wrapped her fingers in my hair. I lost balance and pressed her up against a wall just for our own support. I could hear a faint gasp when her body hit the plaster and that made the flames inside me burn hotter. Her tongue danced with mine and when I thought the flames couldn't burn any more, she bit my lower lip and pulled gently.

I wrapped one arm around her waist and brought her closer, feeling the heat radiate from her as well. My other arm cupped her jaw and neck with mine, moving in rhythm. Her other hand rested on my chest. Honestly, rested was a bad word. It more or less clung to the fabric of my costume.

She broke up for air and I kissed her neck, nibbling at the soft skin. She let out a surprised gasp before tightening her grip on my shirt. I sucked, and without looking I knew that today (since it was early morning) she would have a dark purple mark on her skin that meant she was mine.

"Wait…" She breathed heavily. I paused, pulling my head up to her eye level. "Wait…We can't do this."

"You're actions speak differently." I whispered. She shuddered.

"No, Dick!" She shoved me away, I stumbled surprised. "I can't! I can't do this with you!"

"Why?" I shouted. "We both care about each other. I don't understand why you are putting yourself through this!"

"I can't do this!" She yelled. "And then lose you!"

I stopped, frozen mid-shout. She was gone. She didn't mean me. She meant Jason and Artemis and all those other one's she'd gotten close to and then lost. I was just another one that she would lose.

"I'm not going anywhere." I muttered as I saw a tear fall down her delicate cheek. It was crystalline, almost unearthly. Her lip trembled and she said nothing. She shook her head and walked away, leaving me to sit in my guilt.


	6. Chapter 6

After she slammed the door I was tempted to go and talk to her, but I couldn't think of anything to say. I heard her pacing inside before hearing the bed creak as she sat down on it. Her words had cut to the core of me and I honestly felt sick. It felt like torture to know that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I could hear small sobs that she tried to hide. It made my chest throb.

After an hour or so I assumed she fell asleep, so I left. I changed from my costume into my civvies and called Wally. I felt dirty, not having a shower since before patrol, but I wasn't about to go wake her up. I needed to get out and get a fresh outlook on the situation.

Wally and I met down by the college campus. His eyes were dark and he may have looked more tired than me.

"What's wrong man?" I high-fived him the way we did when we were kids and he smiled.

"Oh nothing dude, just cramming for finals is all." His eyes darted around nervously.

If it hadn't been for the nervous eyes, I wouldn't have thought about it. But I racked in my brain what I remembered about school. He was lying, it was April, finals weren't until June.

"Uh huh." I said nonchalantly. "Do we need to talk?"

"Dude," He gave me a subtle eye glare and I remembered our last fight in the Hall. "You've been gone a week. Mad stuff happens when you're not around."

I laughed and followed him back to his apartment. Inside my heart was pounding, Babs would have told me if someone died right? But since I was the only one who knew of the 'undercover Kaldur' plan, taking time off was probably the worst thing to do.

He unlocked the door and left me to shut it behind myself. He ran, or rather sped, to the kitchen and pulled out a water bottle.

Tossing one it to me, he said, "So the Hall blew up. Babs has been covering pretty well for you though. She found everyone a pretty suitable home in this dinky warehouse on the docks. She sent Tim, Arsenal, BB, and Impulse into LexCorp yesterday to find out what the Reach have been doing to the crops."

"She sounds like she's doing a good job." I sat down on the couch, putting my arm around my chest as if it wasn't hurting at the mention of her. I didn't know if it was my ribs or my heart.

"Let's hope she doesn't figure out what's really going on." He said, sitting in the chair across from me. "So what happened man? I heard you got busted up, but I didn't know it was a week-long vacation."

"Yea it was pretty bad. Crowbar and everything. But she ended up stopping the whole thing." He winced.

"That sounds emasculating." He said, taking a gulp of his water and resting a hand on his leg. "So, you've been cooped up in the manor for a week? That must suck."

"No, actually I've been at Babs's apartment." I watched the shock register across his face before reeling it in. He didn't even know that Babs and I were friends.

"Are you guys…" He drifted off. "Like a thing?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea man." I said truthfully. "Sometimes, when I look at her, I just can't see anything else. When I was dying, I literally thought I saw an angel, and last night? Wally, I kissed her and it was incredible."

"Wow that sounds like the real deal there." I saw his eyes flicker with recognition. I know he missed Artemis. If this was how he felt about her, I would owe him a major apology for putting her in danger. That's probably why he looked like he hadn't slept. He was probably worried about her. "Wait, so you kissed her? Last night? Damn Grayson, quick on the draw."

"No it wasn't like that. I just saw her in the moonlight and it just felt perfect." I smiled then remembered. "But it's not going to work out."

"Why not?" His smile dropped as he rested another hand on his leg casually.

"She said she didn't want to be with me because we wouldn't be able to maintain a relationship. She said she'd be worried about me too much. She thinks I'm going to die." He nodded sadly. "But literally minutes after that we start heavy making out. And not like cute rooftop kiss, like slammed into walls bruises making out. Then she shoves me off and freaks out that she can't do it anymore."

"Wow." He leaned back, eyes wide. "Seems like she's got some internal demons, but you see where she's coming from? I mean, we do all have a bit of uncertainty with this job about who comes home at night."

"I could lose her." I said, thinking about the possibility for the first time. Anything that she was worried about happening to me could also happen to her. In a way, I should be just as scared as she was if not more. What would I do with myself if she got hurt? It would be hell. Just hearing her cry behind a closed door was painful enough.

"No dude, Babs is like Artemis. They can hold their own." He smiled, eyes drifting off.

"Yea…" I said, looking down. "What do you think I should do?"

"Talk to her. You could tell her about Artemis, but that could end up backfiring. She could get pissed or compromise a mission. It might help her trust you." He shrugged. "It's all really up to you."

"You're right." I sat back up, ribs aching in protest. "I should tell her. Besides she'll find out anyway soon enough."

"Careful though. Babs has a bit of a fire to her. You might want to watch where you step."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Okay, so for those of you that saw the new episode Saturday, this is for you. For all intents and purposes, the scene in which Conner yells at Dick and Dick tells L'gann and Conner about the plan has not happened yet. That scene will be included in the next chapter. Here, Dick still does not know about M'gann mind-melting Kaldur (I don't remember mentioning it before, so here it is). So, yea! Enjoy! Please review and follow! It makes me write faster!

I was nervous when I walked inside. Part of me was so ready to tell her and part of me was so ready to not have to see the look in her eyes when she realized I lied to her. I had no idea how she would react. What if she hated me for it?

I walked in and she was sitting at the kitchen counter, staring blankly at her communicator in front of her. Her eyes were glazed over, mouth hanging open. She turned her head slowly to me, like a door stuck on its hinges. My mind jumped to the worst again. Someone must have died again. Someone was gone, something happened.

"M'gann got captured. Tigress and Deathstroke kidnapped her and took her onto Manta's ship." Her eyes pierced into me with both hatred and longing. It was sad, she looked so broken. I hadn't noticed it before.

"What?" I said, forgetting about telling her the plan. Why would Manta take her? They wouldn't unless they needed her for something, he wasn't one for random abductions. Even Kaldur had a plan behind it.

"Conner told me." She stood up. "He said that you should call him ASAP. Something about Mg'ann and Kaldur."

"Barbra, wait." She tried to walk past me, putting a hand up to her forehead. "Can we talk?"

"Dick…" She looked back to me, tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. "What is going on? I feel like I am screwing up and I can't take it anymore. I am screwing up this team and everything with you. I just can't do this anymore."

"No Babs it's not like that." I pulled her into my arms soothingly. I brushed my fingers through her hair, letting the heat from her body warm me again. She thought all this was her doing, her fault. No wonder she was so broken inside. "Really it's my fault."

"What?" She looked up, eyes shining in the fluorescent light. She really was incredible. The more I thought about it, the more I regretted having to tell her about this. She wouldn't look at me the same way.

"I have been keeping something from you…" I said hesitating, soaking in the warmth in the few seconds as I held her. I didn't want this moment to end, not ever.

"Like what?" She pulled away, glancing at me nervously. I could see the regret and fear play across her face and my stomach worked itself into a ball. This was it, the point of no return. What would Bilbo Baggins do? Stupid, Bilbo would never have gotten himself in this situation in the first place.

I groaned, savoring the peace before the storm. "Kaldur is a double agent and he never killed Artemis. She is undercover with him as Tigress."

Her face was unreadable. She stood in front of me, still as stone. I tried to open my mouth to explain, but once again I didn't know what to say. She made me speechless as my heart practically ricocheted through my chest.

"What." She said, blinking, eyes emotionless.

"I know it's hard to grasp and you're probably really pissed off. But please, I had to tell you. I had to let you know that Artemis wasn't really dead, you never lost her. And you won't lose me." Apparently that was the wrong phrase to throw in as I watched her entire body explode in anger.

"Are you shitting me?" Her face turned beet red and her eyes burned red with rage. "You single-handedly put me through the worst torture of my life and then fucking tell me the truth because you think it will make me want to be with you?"

"I didn't mean it like that…" Her face grew redder and she grabbed the neared blunt object to her right. Unfortunately for me, that was a heavy book. Not like there was much of a chance of it being something else.

"No, of course not. No, you meant it so you could get in my pants. I can't believe you! You lied to me! You lied to everyone, putting your team in danger! And now, a member of your team is captured and you are here brushing it off!" She hurled the book with all her might and I swerved to the left, hitting the wall, so the book grazed my shoulder.

"Babs, listen. M'gann will be fine with Kaldur. He kidnapped her for a good reason." I tried to explain, her words cutting to the core.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE DEFENDING YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!" She screamed, hurling another book, hitting me square in the ribcage. "Can you even hear yourself right now Grayson? You are PATHETIC! What if I had lied to you about Jason? I..I can't believe you right now."

She sent another book at me, hitting another healing rib. I let out a grunt and saw stars. She really had a good backhand. I heard her bedroom door slam and she mumbled to herself inside as I sat with my back against the wall, hoping to get some support. That Jason comment really had me. She knew I loved Jason, everyone did. Is that what she thought I did? Oh, god she was right, I was a terrible person.

She emerged a few minutes later wearing her costume with her cowl pulled over her head. She shot me an icy glare and walked to the balcony. I didn't even look up. It felt like my entire being was crushed. She effectively broke me, and what's worse was that it was essentially my fault. She didn't break me, I broke me. And I did it by being an awful person.

Before pulling herself up on the roof and into the night, she uttered ten words that tore me apart inside. Ten words that cut into my soul and pulled out any semblance of the person that I thought I was. She tore out the part of me that thought I was a good person. She spat them with as much venom as she could muster, cutting through her tears. "You'd better be gone by the time I get back."


	8. Chapter 8

That god-awful scene kept playing in my mind as I mechanically stumbled through her apartment. My vision was hazy and all I could see were stacks upon stacks of books wavering around me. I read and reread the titles, chanting them to myself so that my mind would be otherwise occupied then thinking about the aforementioned redhead.

An Abundance of Katherines and The Fault in Our Stars both by John Green were the nearest that I actually let myself trip over, falling on the floor. I cursed to myself and tried to straighten the pile up before turning the two books over in my hands. I had never heard of the author before, but they both seemed different than the usual books that littered the floor. They were classic teen-centric novels that had been written in the last century.

I picked myself up off the ground, placing the two gingerly back on the top of the pile and looking for my duffel bag. It was still in the center of her floor beside her bed.

I didn't know what do to. I had never had a girl order me to leave before, and I knew that I wasn't going to give up without a fight. But I felt it best to give her some space and go back to my apartment.

I packed my bag and then devilishly, took The Fault in Our Stars and stuffed it beside my Nightwing costume in my duffel bag. Sooner or later we would have to meet up so I could return it and think of a reason that I would have it in the first place.

I called Conner when I was in a cab on the way to Bludhaven. He agreed to meet me at my apartment. The cab ride was long and tedious, but it gave me time to reflect on everything with Babs. She needed her space but I would talk to her. I knew that I would try anything to convince her to forgive me. A part of me was afraid, just like how she was. I was afraid that if we were together and we fell in love, one of us would get hurt or die. I'd be damned if I let that be her.

After struggling to unlock my apartment, (because God knows where Babs put the keys) I took a very long shower before Conner showed up. I had time to actually brush my hair and teeth, and examine the fading bruises and cuts that now littered my abdomen. It was strange that any woman would find me attractive; I had scars crossing every inch of my skin. Despite how much I try, I do not have the best looking body.

Conner came in as I was pulling on my pants.

"Oh." He muttered turning away when he saw me without my glasses. "I'll uh, look away."

"It's fine. I trust you. We've been teammates for long enough." I said, tugging on a shit and not pulling on the domino.

"Uh huh." He said. I sensed some anger in his tone.

"What's wrong?" I asked, shaking a hand in my damp hair as he sat down awkwardly at the kitchen counter.

"I wanted to talk about M'gann." He said eyeing me. "You weren't there when we invaded Manta's ship."

"What happened?" I asked, a worried edge creeping into my voice.

"She brain blasted Kaldur." He looked up at me.

"Oh." He glared at me, telling me everything I needed to know. This was just not my day.

"That's it? Oh?" He really dialed it back; I was expecting to get a flying book aimed at my ribcage again. "I thought you trusted us."

"I do. And I sorry, I really am. I just thought that if the whole team knew then we wouldn't be able to keep it a secret." I said, sitting down next to him. "It would jeopardize their place and put them in more danger."

"I get it." He said, still closed off, but that was just how Conner was.

"Is Kaldur okay?" I looked at him, but his eyes stayed squarely fixed on the cupboard in front of him.

"Deathstroke and Tigre- I mean, Artemis, kidnapped M'gann to try and see if she could shift things around and help him. But in the process La'gaan got his leg broken." I shook my head, looking down.

"I'm sorry." I said, not looking for sympathy especially from Conner. "It's my fault."

"Yea, it is." He said, scooting his chair back and getting up. He walked to the door as I pressed my folded hands to my lips. There was that good old sensitive Conner.

"Just…please try to not let her get hurt." He stood at the door, looking at his feet.

"Do you love her?" I said, turning to face him.

"Of course, I always will." He looked up to me. "I don't know what I would do if she got hurt."

"How were you guys together? If it was so risky, you both could have gotten hurt. How could you protect her?" I asked, bearing more of my soul to him then I'd ever done before.

"I've lied awake at night thinking about that." He muttered. "In the end, it's a risk you have to take, if you really love each other."

There was a long pause before he opened the door and I thanked him. He left me with my thoughts.


	9. Chapter 9

I awoke the next morning with sore eyes from a night of crying and heaving about fictional characters. That goddamn book kept me up until three, and I hated it. It made me hate myself and Hazel and Augustus and I just wanted to sit in a corner and cry some more. There loe was so pure and so beautiful. It made me miss Babs and hate John Green.

I was not emotionally prepared for this day in the slightest.

Although, it did have a common theme with what Babs and Conner both seemed to be saying about love. I needed to see her, I needed to make sure that she was okay. Maybe it was all of the hormones and feelings about people that don't exist, but I thought that I could be falling in love with her. The way that we mixed and the way that my every thought was consumed by her was just painful.

I dejectedly crawled into the kitchen and turned on the television, and as if on instinct, my ribs started to ache. I halfheartedly listened to the news as I tore open the tin wrapping and stuffed two pop-tars in the toaster. I leaned back on the counter and watched the toaster eagerly.

"And in breaking news just outside of Gotham, the Arkham Asylum has been under quarantine as of late last night. It seems that the Joker has escaped under the guise of a guard. As of this time there has been three fatalities and numerous injured, but details are still being released." The newswoman stated as if this was the calmest thing in the world to announce. "Citizens are reminded to lock their doors and keep on the lookout for any suspicious behavior."

I left the house as quick as I could and headed for Gotham via zeta tube. Honestly, I should feel lucky that my apartment didn't burn down thanks to an overweight woman who lived next door with a keen sense of smell for smoke. Next time, I'll take the pop tarts to go.

Getting to Gotham took less time than expected. It was morning, so not many people were out. I practically sprinted from the tube to the manor, which was closer. By the time I got there, my ribs were aching. In my record time it took me nearly twenty minutes.

"Master Dick, what seems to be the matter?" Alfred opened the door and I practically collapsed onto the porch.

"Tim…Joker…Babs?" I asked, hoping he got the message.

"Master Tim is in the cave with Miss Gordon, I don't seem to understand what the rush is about though." He said, helping me up and inside.

"The Joker…"

"Say no more." He guided me to the entrance to the cave and then left me the rest of the way down. Alfred was an amazing man, he put up with so much and knew the worst about this world. He would always be the shining light for this family. I don't know what Bruce would have done without him and his sarcastic wit.

I semi-walked, semi-stumbled into the cave and saw Babs standing over Tim looking at the monitor on the far side of the wall. I forgot everything that had happened between us for just a moment and I just rejoiced that she was safe for the time being.

"Dick?" Tim turned his head. "Holy-"

"What are you doing here?" Babs turned, shooting me an icy glare cutting him off.

"I had to come and see you guys. You can't keep me out of this." I said, walking to them, trying not to feel the shooting pain in my ribs.

"We aren't trying to. But man, you still aren't ready to take this head on." Tim got up and tried to help me, but I pushed his hands away. I didn't need the help.

"Babs, please." I looked up at here beneath her cowl. She scowled at me. "Just listen."

"I'll just…go…" Tim walked quickly back up the stairs and left us alone after throwing an awkward parting glance over his shoulder.

"What." She said, not softening.

"I read The Fault in Our Stars, and I wanted to say that you are right." I said, surprising myself.

"What?" She said again, visibly not expecting that argument from me.

"And I don't regret what I had to do for the team, but I regret keeping it from you. I am sorry and I hope you'll forgive me." I said taking a breath. "But you are right, you have been hurt too much to lose someone else. I know why you don't want to be with me."

I continued, flashing a glance to Jason's case in the corner of the cave. "But Babs, I am willing to take that risk of losing everything because I think I love you. And I am not going to give that up unless you tell me to. Unless you tell me to back off and there is no hope and not a chance of me ever being with you."

She moved her lips to speak but I held up my hand, looking at her bright sapphire eyes. "I just wanted you to know that I love you. I have loved you, and I always will."

She got up, moving to me. I could see tears in her eyes as she reached me and brought her hand to my face, resting it on my cheek. I wiped away her tear instinctively.

"I don't want to lose you like Augustus. Just…is there hope?" My lips trembled as I laid my heart out on the line for her to take or break.

"Okay."


	10. Chapter 10

"Okay?" I smiled down to her as that beautiful glow seemed to radiate all around her again. Her warm hand still touched my cheek and I closed my eyes to its warmth.

"And I know you stole my book." She seemed to whisper.

"I didn't steal it." I laughed. "It was in my bag and I didn't notice I'd taken it until after I'd left."

"Uh huh, sure." I opened my eyes and looked down to her again. "It made me cry when I read it."

"Me too." I pulled her close to me and weaved my hand through her red hair. She rested her ear on my chest and I kissed the top of her head as the smell of her just wafted through the air. It was just so, Babs. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"You can't promise me that." She tilted her head up to me so that her mouth was almost level with my chin.

"But it's true, what I said." I muttered, down to her. "I will love you."

"I didn't know you felt like that." She murmured, eyelids fluttering and I held her closer.

"I didn't either. I was just thinking last night how terrible it would be if something did happen and I never told you." She gave me a chaste smile.

"Let's not talk about that anymore." Her eyes fluttered upstairs. "Come on, my dad wants me to come over to his place later and I want to show you something now."

I followed her up the stairs and she clutched my hand through the manor. I didn't see Alfred or Tim as we climbed more stairs and down the hallway where the guest rooms were.

"I was exploring earlier, and I found something." She led me into a darkened room and flicked a light switch by the door before releasing my hand and walking into the dust toward a bookshelf. "I think Alfred put it up here a few years ago and forgot about it."

She pulled a dirty photo album from the shelf and blew the dust off the front cover before looking back up to me. I walked over to her before looking at what she was holding. It was a photo album, a dingy, dusty photo album.

"Cool." I said, not amused. "What is it?"

She opened it and handed it to me. The first thing I was Bruce and I, standing stock still. In the next picture we were both making faces to a sideways camera, assumedly Alfred had laughed and doubled over. I didn't even remember it at all. I was probably only ten or so.

I flipped through the pages. I saw more of me growing up in the manor. I had the biggest ears didn't I? But about halfway through I started remembering, right when Jason showed up. He looked angry, stoic and depressed. But there were a few of him, ones I remember taking, where he wasn't paying attention. He was looking out a window at something with a little hint of a smile. There were a few when we had both stolen the camera and taken stupid pictures of each other, even Babs showed up in a few. Jason used to love to hit on her.

"I remember that one." She said to me, pointing a blurry one with her and Jason smiling while posing over one of Bruce's fancy cars. The companion was Jason reaching across the hood and pulling her hair and her face was twisted into a mask of pain and anger. I remember putting the camera down and tackling Jason down to the concrete until he said he was sorry to her.

"I miss him, Babs." I said as I flipped the page. It was more Jason, getting near the end. He looked sadder. I put my finger on the one with the two of us posing in front of the big oak tree in the lawn. That one they showed at his funeral. The last one was just him, I had taken it on an impulse, meaning to piss him off later. But it was just him walking up the stairs with his back turned to me. It was sadly symbolic you might say.

"I do to." She rested her head on my shoulder. "He used to call me 'Big Red'. I don't know why it pissed me off so much." She smiled before putting a hand over the empty slot where the next picture should have gone, where his life should have continued.

"He was a good brother; I should have been able to take care of him." I said closing the book as her hand slipped out.

"You can't save everyone Dick." Her voice was soft and I knew. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. I wouldn't let her die. "That's why we are both scared."

"I watched him die Babs." I placed the book back on the shelf, looking out of place against the dusty encyclopedias. "I won't let it happen again."

"Dick, listen to me." She pulled my arms to her. "I know what you saw was horrible. And I understand, when I rescued you from that warehouse and I saw you all bloody and cut up, I thought there was no way that… But it doesn't matter because what we do is worth it. Jason would have given his life for this. And I know Artemis would do the same. I would too."

"I want to be with you Babs." I said, looking down to her. "Okay?"

She laughed. "Okay."

I kissed her. I was slow and smoldering at first. My hand held her waist and her chin up to me and her fingers clutched my neck. Her lips moved with mine and I could taste her. She smelled just how she tasted, just so Babs. She became eager and I pulled off her cowl and kissed her neck, holding her closer to me. I could feel her breathing faster and I almost lost it when she whispered my name.

She worked her fingers in my hair and a stumbled with her in my arms until we hit a wall. Her breath hitched and her head fell back against the plaster. I looked up, worried but she looked at me with this cute confused look and then smiled, so dazed.

I tried to kiss her before she pushed me back onto the bed. She sat on top of me and I felt all the blood leave my brain when she flipped her hair to the left side of her face and then kissed me again.

"Babs, are you sure you are ready for this." I murmured against all my better judgment.

"This might be our only chance."

I growled in response, angry that she was using that terminology. I thought we had discussed that I wasn't going to let anything happen to her.

"Yes Dick, I am ready. I love you." She smiled down to me and I almost lost it again. My heart thumped rapidly almost going into cardiac arrest at the fact that this incredible woman loved me. Me. Me of all people in the world, she chose me.

"I love you too Babs."

The dust from the curtains swirled around her and she smiled down at me, blinding me with all her radiance again. I pulled her down onto the blankets beneath me and kissed her again.


	11. Chapter 11

I awoke a few hours later with a start. I opened my eyes to the dust swirling around me in patterns from the window to my right. The afternoon sun made it all look so peaceful and bright. But I knew I was alone. I sat up, sheets pooling around my abdomen. She must have left while I was asleep. I turned to where she had lain only a few hours before; there was a note on the pillow.

Dick,

I had to leave to get to my Dad's place. I should only be gone a little bit, you can head on by if I'm not back by the time you wake up. I love you.

-Babs

I smiled to myself as the sun slanted down on the note, casting little shadows throughout the room. She was incredible. I still couldn't believe that all this was happening, that it was even possible.

I heaved myself out of the warm bed and pulled on my costume that had been carelessly flung on the floor. I pulled my domino back over my eyes that had been resting on the nightstand.

I walked out of the room, expecting Tim to be standing outside with a grin, but he wasn't. I happily rejoiced that he wouldn't be using this to torment me with later. I sauntered down to the cave, looking to borrow a bike of Bruce's.

Tim sat at the computer, furiously typing away. I walked behind him, examining the monitor. There were two police scans and a few database codes pulled up behind them.

"Something happened with Blue." Tim said, getting up. "They went on the Warworld mission this morning and I stayed behind to monitor. Something happened."

"What?" I called to him, as he walked up the stairs. "What happened Tim?"

"I don't know." He came back, pulling his domino over his eyes. "I have to go to the warehouse and find out."

"Do you need backup-" I was cut off when he cut me off.

"Attention all units, shot have been fired at the Commissioner's house. Repeat, no word yet, emergency call has been made for shots fired at the Commissioner's house in-"

"Go." He said, pointing to one of the motorcycles. "You'll get there faster than any of them. It's only a few minutes away."

I was already straddling a bike and pulling a helmet over my head when he gave me a small nod. He knew that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. I sped out, and caught him give a glance to Jason's case. I wouldn't let another on die.

I kept my com to the police feed as I sped to the house through the side streets. So far no one knew what happened, they suspected the Joker. No one could reach the commissioner.

I parked the motorcycle outside the front of the house and ran across the small yard. The lock on the door was broken, and I opened it hesitantly, hoping to not find a bloody body on the floor.

"Babs?" I asked, walking in, "Commissioner?"

My eyes fixed on the sight in front of me. My brain could not accept it. It was her, I knew it was her. The way her hair fanned out over her face was the way it seemed to fall only a few hours ago. She was curled in a ball, heaving. She was wearing one of her Dad's big flannel button downs that covered her entire chest. I couldn't even see if she was hurt.

"Oh my god." I ran to her, kneeling down.

"Dick." She opened her eyes and did something completely unexpected. She laughed. "You're here."

"Yea." I looked her over, and put a hand on her chest gingerly. She winced. "What happened?"

"The Joker… he just walked in and pulled a gun on me." She said, curling in on herself again.

No, no it wasn't possible. There was no blood. I looked to the door, there was a shell where I walked in. I must have stepped right over it.

"Babs are you hit?" I looked down, pulling her into my arms, she seemed heavier than I remembered.

She nodded and my stomach dropped into oblivion, "Dick, you have to find my dad. Joker took him."

"What? Are you crazy, you need to go to a hospital! You are going to die." I pulled her up and looked at her back, there was no exit wound. Great, even more trouble. She laughed again, then spit up a drop of blood.

"Oh my god." I muttered, trying to pull her arms away from her chest.

"I'll be fine." She smiled up at me again, clearly she was insane. "I'm not an idiot Dick."

"What?" I asked, looked down at her again. She took a big breath, but her chest didn't heave. It was strange.

"You have to go after him. Ahh…" She moaned, her eyelids closing. "Something about a theme park. He took pictures."

"What?" I asked again, pulling her up, why was she not concerned? It felt like she was dying. "Babs you are going unconscious, please just tell me where you are hurt."

"Pictures of me." She ignored me, "He is trying to make my dad I don't know, go crazy or something. They are bad Dick, don't look at them."

"Okay I won't." I looked down again at her nervously and she laughed again, pulling me down to her lips.

"What the hell?" I pulled away from her warm lips and looked down at her chest. She had opened her arms to pull my head down and I caught a glimpse. There was a bullet hole, straight through her stomach. But there was no blood, there was no anything. But there was a hole, and there was black cloth underneath.

She laughed and then winced as I put her back down again on the floor and unbuttoned her shirt.

"My dad is the Commissioner, Dick. I think I know how to protect myself." She smiled up at me.

"You are wearing a goddamn vest." I smiled down at her, looking at the Kevlar armor under the flannel. "Oh my god Babs this, this right here is why I love you."

"Call Tim, he can take me back to the cave. Please, just find my dad." I smiled down to her, blood at the corner of her mouth and all. I bent down and kissed her, ignoring my gut reaction. She really was perfect.

"Okay."

"Okay."


	12. Chapter 12

I drove to the only theme park I knew. It had been abandoned for a long time now, over thirty years. It seemed like the perfect place for the Joker to take the terrified Commissioner. It had been the place where Haly's Circus played once before.

I sped through the streets talking to Alfred on the radio. He told me that Tim would pick Babs up and bring her back to the Batcave before coming to give me backup. I knew she would be in good hands. Tim was a good kid.

The theme park was cold and empty. The wind billowed around kicking up old newspapers and empty candy wrappers. I ditched the motorcycle outside and walked in, fear rising in my veins. Everything looked dead inside.

I got down to one knee out of instinct when the intercom buzzed to life. I heard feedback before a disturbing laugh. I heard the Commissioner scream and then my ears were filled with Pink's song Funhouse. That was as good a clue as ever.

Part of me wished Batman was here to deal with this instead of me. I would never admit it, but the Joker scared me. I think he scared everyone. But he really struck me in the heart. Everything about him made me cringe and I think he knew it. I wondered if that's how Bruce ever felt. Bruce just seemed so disconnected.

I walked inside the funhouse to an awful sight.

On the walls were pictures, the most brutal pictures. Babs was on the floor, crying. Her face was twisted into a different mask of horror in each picture. The first few buttons of her shirt were popped off, as if someone tried to work her shirt off. I felt the anger rise up in me like fire.

She was bent inward, clutching her stomach. She was in so much pain, letting it all out. I could see the blood at the corners of her mouth in a few.

Some were even worse. They were taken from different angles, from above or from the side. One was just of her hands clutching her middle. Her eyes were squeezed shut, tears welling out the sides of her lids.

They were horrible, I wanted to cry out. I wanted to pull my hair out and at the same time I wanted to kill the Joker.

I forced myself to look away from it and at the other sight in front of me. The Commissioner was tied down in one of the cars, staring at the pictures. He was muttering under his breath as I ran to him, skidding to a halt under the pictures.

"Commissioner Gordon, it's okay. I'm going to get you out of here. Don't worry about Babs, she is perfectly fine. I made sure of it." His gaze left the pictures on the wall behind us and hit me. They were fearful for his daughter, for his little girl. I got his arm restrains untied and he hugged me awkwardly as I pulled him from the car.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." He muttered as I patted his back.

I heard the Joker over the intercom again laughing and I pulled him off of me determined to make him pay for all of this.

"You have to play by the rules. You can't kill him. It is the only difference from you and him." He said to me and I nodded curtly before following the sound of the voice.

I followed his little trail of bread crumbs to the roof of the funhouse where he was sitting with the microphone laughing maniacally. His horrid face was twisted into the face of evil, pure evil.

"I just remembered the funniest joke." He smiled, getting up to me. I came forward and he cowered back.

"See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum" He started "And one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom."

I gripped him by the lapels, annoyed with him. "Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

He laughed gleefully, throwing his head back. I could taste his nasty breath.

I lowered him to the ground slowly before chuckling silently to myself. It was pretty funny. I heard the police cars arriving in the parking lot before I laughed louder. He smiled with me and we shared a look before laughing again, doubling to our knees as the police rushed to take him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> So there is only one more chapter! Huzzah! Anyway, this is actually from the Killing Joke. Thats where this whole chapter is from except it is Batman and not Nightwing. I really thought the idea would fit and I always how it ended, with that joke and all. So yea, please review and follow!


	13. Chapter 13

This scene was so familiar. I could try to explain it to you, but it all seems so strange.

I really connected with Babs. I loved her, I would do anything for her. I feel like I really knew her. When we made love, I felt like I needed her. I felt that I could understand everything about her. I felt that she could complete me, like we were meant to be together. I knew that I wanted to be with her forever.

Which was why this scene was so strange, I could feel her pain as if it was my own.

I sat by her bedside in the Batcave for hours, refusing food and drink, waiting for her to wake up. Tim had made it clear to me that she had broken three ribs and some internal bleeding. It was nothing major, I knew my angel would pull through. She was a trooper, my girl.

I brushed the hair from her head and sighed. She still slept. Tim had advised me that she had needed her rest and I didn't argue, but waiting was just so boring. I ventured upstairs after a few hours to wash up, and on my way down I passed the guest room that Babs and I had gone in. It was still dusty and unlived in, but the shelves were still stocked. I pulled the photo album down again and flipped through it, smiling to myself.

I tucked it back onto the shelf and tried to look for something Babs would like. I knew she liked romance, but at the same time she liked epics. I saw the Great Gatsby and smiled to myself again, like I knew a secret about it. I scanned the shelves for something she never would have read. Something she knew, but something she would laugh at.

A light bulb lit up above my head when I saw the small paperback wedged between Pride and Prejudice and Antigone. It was perfect, I could do all the voices and give her a good laugh. I pulled it out and swiped the dust off the top, making me sneeze.

I walked downstairs and tucked the small book in my back jeans pocket. She was still asleep, and Tim sat at the monitor, casting glances every few seconds.

"Everything okay?" I asked, walking down the stairs. He smiled and looked up.

"Yea, she's coming around." He said, turning the chair to her. Her brows knot together and the heart monitor to the left started going faster.

I sat down next to her and put my hand on top of hers. She moved her head is surprise before opening her eyes. She blinked a few times before looked directly at me above her. For some reason, I felt self-conscious about my looks.

"Hey." I tilted my head and smiled. "How are you feeling?"

She grunted before looked down at herself and the IV in her arm. "Uh..not too hot to be honest."

She tried to move but I pushed her softly back down. "Nope, it's my turn to take care of you, angel."

I reached over her and to her empty morphine bag. I turned my back to her and grabbed another shot from the drawer under the computer where Tim watched warily.

"Dick?" She asked, "Why is your butt square?"

"It's a book, but nice try." She nodded as I fiddled with the plastic tubes. She watched me push the needle into the tube and I shot the morphine into it. "Careful, it might burn."

"I've had morph- woa" Her eyes closed and then opened again wider. She stretched her fingers in pain as the fire burned through her veins. I put my hand in hers and it tightly until it passed. She muttered a thank you.

"Isn't this funny?" I smiled down to her. "Now I'm the one who has to take care of you."

"Now you're the angel." She laughed and I shook my head with a smile.

I looked back down into her ocean-like eyes and got lost in them. She looked lazily back up to me, holding my hand from the bedside. She was so perfect with all of her little flaws.

"I love you, Babs." I smiled after a moment.

"I love you too."

"Hey, I saved your dad."

"I knew you would."

She smiled up to me, pushing her face into the pillow sleepily. I pulled the crappy blanket up to her as she looked at me with tired eyes.

"Read to me, Dick?" She asked, like a little child.

"I think I've got one you'll really like." I pulled the book from my pocket and held it up in front of me.

"Oh gosh, I haven't read that one since freshman year." She laughed. "It always seemed so silly to me before…but I think I get it. Do you know what I mean?"

I nodded to her, not needing to explain because she already knew how I felt.

I cleared my throat and started with a thick Italian accent.

"Two households, both alike in dignity,  
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,  
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,  
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.  
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes  
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;  
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows  
Do with their death bury their parents' strife.  
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,  
And the continuance of their parents' rage,  
Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,  
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;  
The which if you with patient ears attend,  
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend."

She fell asleep near toward the end of the fourth act, before all of the deaths. But Tim laughed and joined me in a fake sword fight as the fair Mercutio. Babs laughed and read her lines as Juliet when I came to her Dad's party and then to her window later that night. Alfred opened the door to come down once, then saw me, book in hand, draped in the Batmobile's seat covers, and he promptly shut the door again. Babs laughed and clapped at that reaction, I pretended like nothing had happened. But by the time that the lovers were supposed to die, Tim had gotten a call, and we had no one to play Paris. So I read the act by her bedside, still dressed like an Italian Montague, until she drifted off. I smiled to myself and laid the book on her lap. We could always finish the play later, after all, we had all the time in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> So this was brought on by a particularly bad migraine that I had today, sorry if it was a bit graphic. Pain sucks. Anyway, I really like the idea of this story but I need your guy's input. Would you guys like me to do what originally happened in the comics? So basically I would write in Babs getting shot and paralyzed? It was a thought I had, so review and help me out, because I'm not quite sure if it would work in this story. If not, I could just write in her nursing him back to health. It would also progress with the show coming back on the air, since that would give some new plot-lines and whatnot. Anywayy please review and follow and favorite! It makes me write faster!


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